I just feel like you didn’t like me🌹

You don’t have to wait for your daughters apology... For a long time, I believed I couldn’t move forward unless my adult daughter and I were in a good place. If I’m honest, I even thought she was to blame for our distance because of her disrespect towards me.

But what I didn’t understand was that her pain came from what she felt, which was that she wasn’t liked. Even though that wasn’t the truth in my heart, it was her experience. And as mothers, we may not always agree with how our daughters see it, but we still have a part to hold in how we listen, respond, and reflect.

My daughter would often say, “You weren’t a bad mother, but I just feel like you didn’t like me.” And I would try to explain, because I knew how deeply I loved her. But the more I defended what I knew I felt, and she defended what she felt, the wider the wedge grew between us.

For years, I thought her admitting the truth would finally release me from the shame, hurt, and hidden guilt I was carrying of not being able to fix our relationship. But the more I tried, the heavier the weight became.

What I now know is this. My freedom was never tied to her words, her apology, or her understanding. It came the moment I truly let God speak to me. It came when I surrendered the outcome and allowed Him to do the heavy lifting in both of our hearts.

And even with God carrying that weight, the truth is we are still in a strained relationship. The difference now is NOT that I suddenly found my voice. I've always spoken up and I’ve always held firm to boundaries (“no”), because boundaries matter. But there were times when I shrank back, choosing silence just to avoid the conflict. I’ve learned over the years that even in the tension, my voice and my boundaries deserve to remain steady. And I remind myself that this is still a journey. There are two of us in it, each with our own view of life, and the part I’m responsible for is how I walk my side of the journey with grace, wisdom, and accountability as a mother.

If you are waiting on your adult daughter to apologize before you heal, let me remind you… you don’t have to.

Your healing is not on hold until she understands you.

Your peace is not dependent on her apology.

Your freedom starts the moment you choose to reclaim it, with God leading the way.

You can take one step today toward reclaiming your peace. It is a choice that you make, not one that others make for you. And every step you take not only heals you, it models for your daughter what it looks like to grow, forgive, and move forward.

If you desire to understand how Christian Life Coaching can help you as a mother in a turbulent or strained relationship with an adult daughter. By moving forward in standing confident in who you are, holding boundaries ("no") without guilt and living fully, even if the relationship is still healing or broken. Schedule a Clarity Call today: https://www.mothersconquering.com/claritycall