When “Cutting Off” Feels Easier Than Healing or Forgiveness

I see this a lot mothers cutting off their daughters or daughters cutting off their mothers. They’re calling it “no contact” and both are saying it’s the other’s fault. Then we hear on both sides the same thing “My life is better without her.” It’s as if each side, is somehow getting some type of joy out of saying it’s the other’s fault.

Trust me when I say, I get it, the pain can be too much. The back and forth never ends and sometimes it feels like the only way to breathe is to walk away!!!

But here’s where I yield… somewhere in the middle there has to be room for healing. Because underneath all the silence, the sharp words and the distance, there’s usually something else. Something deeper and if that “something” isn’t faced, the pain doesn’t leave. It just shows up in new places of our lives even if we’re not in each other’s lives. Believe me, it’s showing up whether we say it or not, others can see it.

When I say “moving forward unapologetically” inside Mothers Conquering Together Coaching, I don’t mean leaving your adult daughter behind. I mean doing the hard work inside yourself… Looking at your own patterns… Letting God show you what you couldn’t see before (accountability). And then walking in your purpose.

Because cutting off may stop the arguments, but it doesn’t touch the wound underneath. If there’s even a chance no matter how small for understanding, for mediation, or for rebuilding… it starts with us as mothers. It starts with the work we do inside for us.

Moving forward unapologetically is not walking away. It’s walking different, with clear eyes, with boundaries “no”, with compassion and with the courage to face what’s broken inside of us, so we can see what might still be possible between us.

I need to say this… It’s exhausting to witness the vengeful words being used to uphold the disrespect on both sides… Because as we live long enough, we all will have something that we wish we would have done differently. No one sin is greater than the next, when it comes to separating us from God (ref: Romans 3:23, James 2:10, Romans 3:10). So, let’s stop making it like it is when it comes to our lives. Forgiveness is a choice, but with that said, it doesn’t mean you have to be around a person that brings you down but we can forgive. Let’s do that for ourselves because it releases the bad cycles in our lives.

Is Christian Life Coaching for you? Schedule a Clarity Call: https://www.mothersconquering.com/claritycall